Jim Costich’s Essays on Being Intersexed

Jim Costich lives in Rochester, NY with his partner Tim Schramm, and they have 2 teenaged kids. Jim is a legal assistant to a lesbian attorney, and Tim is a professional musician. They are very involved and well known in the GLBTI community. Jim’s writings sometimes appear in the local GLBTI newspaper, the “Empty Closet”, a publication of The Gay Alliance of Genesee Valley (NY). Jim increasingly does public education about intersex and transgender people.

Jim has chosen to share some of his writings with visitors to Bodies Like Ours. We’ve included some of what Jim told us about himself as an introduction. Links to the essays are below. They are reprinted here with Jim’s permission.

A short bio of Jim, in his own words:

I’m XX – progestin exposure with partially masculinized genitals, sterile – non-functioning uterus, normal usable vagina recently discovered and opened. I’ve only known all these details for 2 years and I’m 46! I was originally assigned as female, was raised as male after so identifying as a toddler. I’ve been on HRT since I was 13 but have had NO surgery. I left my life in the gay community to marry a woman believing that it would prove I was a “real” man.

When I got past that bull crap I came back out as gay. I consider myself gay with some bi leanings. I have an adopted son, have been with my partner for 9 years and am a step parent to his daughter. I have a very open and public life as a gay intersexed man. We have an open relationship and I have a very active and varied sex life.

Being intersexed is not a curse. I don’t live a miserable life. There are lots of us out here and the internet is allowing us to finally locate each other. Lies, secrecy and shame are on their way out the door. It’s not evil, freakish, disgusting or threatening. When we come out it really isn’t like Frankenstein’s monster and the villagers. There are plenty of us whose lives bear witness to this. We are thankful we were never mutilated. We don’t want to be mutilated. We love ourselves as intersexed men or women and others love us too. We have healthy sex lives, healthy careers, make good parents. We are not worse off. We’re better off. We can’t be dismissed. We are a living rebuttal.

As Jim pen’s more, we will republish them here.

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